Weasley's Wizarding Amusements
By Ann Marie
So you know you’re bored and need more sleep when college pamphlets help you write a Harry Potter editorial. Let me explain the madness behind the… well madness. So my college has these signs all over campus about Disney World and Land internships. That made me think. Wizards don’t have theme parks do they? Well why would they? They have magic. Better yet- HOW could they? Well, we college kids can get pretty inventive about things that don’t matter. Keep in mind, this is an amusement park built by and for wizards! So jump on board the Knight Bus and take notes while Stan spins crazy ideas. To build for wizards, we must think like wizards- the crazier the better!
We all know George Weasley is responsible for this. That’s a given. So he needs lots of land for this project, and I can’t think of a better place than where the Quidditch World Cup was held! Now we have the land, and with Hermione and the government’s help we can put enough charms and spells on the place to repel even the most determined Muggles.
The question still remains: What goes inside a magical amusement park? What can be done with magic yet cannot be done at home? This is where the fun beings. Galactic Roller Coaster, the solar system’s only multi-planet roller coaster, expands from Earth all the way to Mars. Comets and asteroids zip by and around you. That Sorting Hat replica… You might want to take that off before you lose it. George, being a responsible pain, probably put some kind of charm on everything there so you can’t summon it.
So besides the bludger-like space rocks, what else can be seen way out there? Since aliens haven’t shown themselves to humans yet, I’m sure George won’t mind creating a few to take pictures with the returning witches and wizards. Other attractions might include erratic magic. In honor of the Slytherins (or maybe for that Slytherin problem), the Vanishing Cabinet could also be a big example of the unpredictable. Because paperwork for lost children can be annoying, the “victims” - I mean riders- would eventually turn up somewhere in the park. If I may add my opinion, underwater cages, garbage cans, elf homes, or a random concert might be some good “appearing places.” Hey, who would want to disappear if there wasn’t a chance of something good happening to them? And I never said it would be a good concert. Because amusement parks are suppose to create things “out of the norm,” traditional Muggle rides are also a possibility. Even we non-magical folk enjoy water rides and sky rides.
And what would a wizard attraction be without our favorite sport? I can easily see a Quidditch-Land like area for witches and wizards of all ages forming teams, practicing their keeping and bludgering skills. You’ve got to admit: a maze or race to catch the snitch would be a blast! And if playing isn’t your thing, Extreme Quidditch shows just might be. As if the sport was “wicked” enough, lets add Weasley fireworks into the mix. Every score means a blast of fireworks. Every stolen quaffle, you guessed it. What could make the sport extreme could be that the players are the ones igniting the fireworks. Besides dodging players and bludgers, players now need to worry about fireworks zipping through the air.
In the center of the park is a small city. Joke shops, sweet shops, cafes, and savvier carts dot the streets. Kids will need lots of energy to survive a Weasley park, so Honeydukes might want to set up a small branch there. You can never have enough Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans or chocolate frogs, you know. Facing the beautiful English country is the Owlery, stocked with birds to send visitors pictures and letters across the world. There might be a few stages around the city as well. The Weird Sister might start off their world tour there. Anything’s possible right?
With all these cool attractions, everyone will want to get in, right? Of course! Unfortunately, it’s not free. Nothing ever is. Like Hogwarts, spells will need to be put up to keep people from Apparating and Disapparating inside the grounds. So people can’t fly in and out, George might have to create a few spells to disable brooms around the area.
Oh, the life of a college kid, right? Well like I said, we can be pretty inventive about random things. I don’t pretend to know everything about this, and I’m sure a bunch of smart people are laughing at me. It happens, but thinking about this is the funnest thing in the world. So witches and wizards of the world, while we Muggles will soon be partying in Orlando at our own wizard theme park, start the petition for George to start your own fantasy world. Just think, if a Muggle like me can come up with something like this, imagine what real wizards could do!
We all know George Weasley is responsible for this. That’s a given. So he needs lots of land for this project, and I can’t think of a better place than where the Quidditch World Cup was held! Now we have the land, and with Hermione and the government’s help we can put enough charms and spells on the place to repel even the most determined Muggles.
The question still remains: What goes inside a magical amusement park? What can be done with magic yet cannot be done at home? This is where the fun beings. Galactic Roller Coaster, the solar system’s only multi-planet roller coaster, expands from Earth all the way to Mars. Comets and asteroids zip by and around you. That Sorting Hat replica… You might want to take that off before you lose it. George, being a responsible pain, probably put some kind of charm on everything there so you can’t summon it.
So besides the bludger-like space rocks, what else can be seen way out there? Since aliens haven’t shown themselves to humans yet, I’m sure George won’t mind creating a few to take pictures with the returning witches and wizards. Other attractions might include erratic magic. In honor of the Slytherins (or maybe for that Slytherin problem), the Vanishing Cabinet could also be a big example of the unpredictable. Because paperwork for lost children can be annoying, the “victims” - I mean riders- would eventually turn up somewhere in the park. If I may add my opinion, underwater cages, garbage cans, elf homes, or a random concert might be some good “appearing places.” Hey, who would want to disappear if there wasn’t a chance of something good happening to them? And I never said it would be a good concert. Because amusement parks are suppose to create things “out of the norm,” traditional Muggle rides are also a possibility. Even we non-magical folk enjoy water rides and sky rides.
And what would a wizard attraction be without our favorite sport? I can easily see a Quidditch-Land like area for witches and wizards of all ages forming teams, practicing their keeping and bludgering skills. You’ve got to admit: a maze or race to catch the snitch would be a blast! And if playing isn’t your thing, Extreme Quidditch shows just might be. As if the sport was “wicked” enough, lets add Weasley fireworks into the mix. Every score means a blast of fireworks. Every stolen quaffle, you guessed it. What could make the sport extreme could be that the players are the ones igniting the fireworks. Besides dodging players and bludgers, players now need to worry about fireworks zipping through the air.
In the center of the park is a small city. Joke shops, sweet shops, cafes, and savvier carts dot the streets. Kids will need lots of energy to survive a Weasley park, so Honeydukes might want to set up a small branch there. You can never have enough Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans or chocolate frogs, you know. Facing the beautiful English country is the Owlery, stocked with birds to send visitors pictures and letters across the world. There might be a few stages around the city as well. The Weird Sister might start off their world tour there. Anything’s possible right?
With all these cool attractions, everyone will want to get in, right? Of course! Unfortunately, it’s not free. Nothing ever is. Like Hogwarts, spells will need to be put up to keep people from Apparating and Disapparating inside the grounds. So people can’t fly in and out, George might have to create a few spells to disable brooms around the area.
Oh, the life of a college kid, right? Well like I said, we can be pretty inventive about random things. I don’t pretend to know everything about this, and I’m sure a bunch of smart people are laughing at me. It happens, but thinking about this is the funnest thing in the world. So witches and wizards of the world, while we Muggles will soon be partying in Orlando at our own wizard theme park, start the petition for George to start your own fantasy world. Just think, if a Muggle like me can come up with something like this, imagine what real wizards could do!
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